What if animals could talk?

I know this question has come up in many different conversations before, but have you really put a lot of thought in to it?  When taking a shower my brain goes in to random thoughts about many different things, and sometimes I go in to great depth on these topics… I don’t know if it’s being in a tight confined space with white walls around me, or standing there naked with warm water splashing on me that causes me to carefully think of what the world would be like if animals talked, but whatever it is.. it happened.  So here it goes..

All humans would probably all be vegetarians . . .  why, because who would want to slaughter something that was holding a conversation with you just a few minutes ago.  Like little Mr. Chicken would be talking about how it’s his turn the next day to wake everyone up at the crack of dawn, and then all of a sudden you chop his head off and feel sorry for the little guy because he was really excited about doing it and you stopped him short of reaching his dreams. 

Then basically every other large animal would team up against you unless you were able to overpower them.   Also, you’d have to be careful about stepping on small bugs and ants, because they’d take revenge against you in the masses after they’d tell all their other insect friends about you.  Then all off a sudden your house if falling apart because of termites and you would be constantly chased by a swarm of killer bee’s all because you accidently stepped on Jonny Ant. 

 In the world of talking animals, monkeys would probably be our largest rivals in the world.  Why?, because we have thumbs.  I’m pretty sure if they were able to comprehend now that we have thumbs and they are very useful, then they might be pretty upset about it.  They would probably start a worldwide war against humans, more than likely just climbing to the top of buildings and throwing poop at people. They can’t be too violent.

I guess the last group of animals not yet covered in my “talking world” are fish.  They sort of got the short end of the stick in this whole talking thing because talking underwater is fairly difficult.  Plus, are your typical trout or perch fish even capable of making noises? Because when I’ve been fishing I’ve never reeled in a fish and heard it make a noise. . . It just kind of flops all over the place

Well, that’s what my animal talking world would be like. . . good thing it’s not true cause I really enjoyed my chicken sandwich that had bacon in it today….

-Drew