I hate the library. . . with a passion

I've never been a fan of the library, probably because I'm not a fan of reading boring stuff but thats besides the point, so when I'm finally forced to go, I do not enjoy it.  It's always super quite and the people there all spread out in junk always seem like they are experts at being in the library, and when I walk through the doors they stare at me and I can see that caption bubble above their head that says, "OMG look at that noob, who does he think he is.. a good student? he looks soooo cluelessssss about, lifeeeeeeeeee... I'm going to text Katy about thisssss " So I causally, but quickly, walk away from everybody until I'm out of site except from the passed out frat boy in the corner, and then I can collect myself and figure out what I'm trying todo and asking myself over and over again, "Why am I here?" Once I find a secluded cubicle far enough from the people who look like they know what they're doing, one with the least amount of male genitalia drawn on the walls, and far enough that the snores of Freddy the frat boy are only small distractions from the beat of my music, so then I start to pull the chair out ever so slowly. Because the slightest movement of these chairs makes the loudest noise on the floor and I bet those library experts up at the front are like, "great its that noob freshman who doesn't know what hes doing, he needs to get a life...." and I'm a sophomore! So after 10 minutes of trying to sit down ever so quietly I pull out my laptop and turn this bad boy on. Well, genius me was previously watching a youtube video with the volume all the way up, because thats the only way to experience HD video on a 13' macbook pro, and that famous mac "bongggggg" blares out of my computer... and once again those experts are like "Dang freshmannnnn!!!!" (even though I'm still a sophomore) and Freddy frat boy wakes up from his deep slumber to then carve on his cubicle walls, "∆∆∆ are the hottest" and "KΩT has the best parties and gets all the girls" (No joke, thats written next to me right now).  Then once everybody starts to calm down after I have disturbed them from studying I finally start working.

Then the unthinkable happens.... I have to go find a book...... Oh snap!  So after searching for the book on my computer, I have the call number texted to my cell phone (because the baylor library is legit) and then I have a number and a general location of where its at.. and that general location is somewhere in this building.  Since I'm a man, I'm not going to ask a librarian for help.. psh, I just jump in and do it! So after walking the aisles aimlessly for about an hour I then realize that my book is on the third floor.  Once I get to the third floor I find that there are even more aisles to wonder aimlessly in, you would of thought God is punishing me and I'm wondering aimlessly in the wilderness of Moody Library. So then being the smart person that I am, I start to figure out how these aisles work; and I find the row that my book is on.  Now the challenge is finding the book that I need.... Well, soon after finding how the aisles work I also find out that every call number isn't the same... and this angered me.... My call number was D756.5.N6. N45 1944B... What the heck right? How in the world am I suposed to find that? Cant they just order them by number, like start with one and go all they way to ∞... it makes much more since...So I find all the D756 and start going throw all those books until I finally find the book I want. I hope the librarian doesn't mind me pulling all of them out, but I at least stacked them in a pile.  Anyways, now its off to copy certain pages.... oh boy..

When I was walking in I knew I was going to have to copy something, so I started to scope out all the copy machines in hope of finding one in a secluded corner that no one could watch me for 15 minutes pushing random buttons in hope of copying one page.  So after only noticing one on the floor I was on, and the only other one I am comfortable with using is on the second floor and I dont want to bring this book down to the second floor with me because I know that the library swat team would repel down out of the ceiling and beat me with really big dictionaries, so my only option was the one next to all the people.. who already updated their facebook statuses in my misfortune. So, I now had a new challenge. Copy this book... with out using that copy machine or getting flogged by the library swat team. Being the creative person that I am, I devised a plan.. I was going to pull the fire alarm so then I would be all by myself, but then that might get me in trouble. So I devised another plan, I was going to take a picture of the page I wanted with my cell phone and then email it to me to print out as a picture... brilliant.. I know. (I actually did this too, for that exact reason......).

So, after spending most of my day at this place of books I now decide that I am finished.  I pack up all my stuff, take ten minutes to move my chair back to not wake Freddy frat boy who has fallen back asleep, and then high tail it out of there hoping the next time I have to come back is forever away.


This is why I'm not a fan of the library, the people are intimidating, the cubicle graffiti is distracting, and finding a book is near impossible.

-Drew

Oh, and when I was coming to the library tonight.. apparently they lock all the doors after 10 so I tried opening all the doors and failing on every single one... while half the school was in the lobby staring at me and updating their status in my misfortune, once again.. then finally Timmy the frat boy saved my day by showing me you have to swipe your card to get in.... I feel like I should know this by now.....